Just A House.......

i've been repeating this to myself over and over, so why won't it sink in? why do i feel like i am losing a part of me?

yes, our house is officially for sale, and i've been having a rough time of it.

not only is the idea of cleaning, painting, organizing, and showing the house completely overwhelming, but the idea of someone else living there is really hard for me. it's ours, right? we designed and built it together, we raised our babies there, we've had our friends and family over constantly, and made so many memories there.

my thoughts go in this direction, and then i remind myself that it's just a house. that's all it is. it definitely doesn't have much value when it comes to eternity. and we never planned on staying forever....

dave thinks my attachment to the house is cute. and slightly humorous. and i don't know if he really understands my pain. you see, he sees the bigger picture. he envisions us in the new house he has designed and wants to build. he sees us without a kid in our closet and with a big yard for them all to play in- without a ravine and a busy street to worry about. he sees the opportunity to once again do what he was made to do.

and all i see is leaving the house. my house. and finding a temporary place to live while we start the long, exhausting process of building. i see myself as a single mom of 4 until it's finished.

okay, it will be worth it. i'm aware of that. it will be great, and i will be so thankful when it's all done.....if i can just make it until then.