Thursday, May 28, 2009
i can't wait to see how far negative we can get.
for the most part i'm doing okay- i don't feel like the baby is overly big, and that's a blessing.
the hardest part is dealing with my sciatic nerve pain- it overshadows all the other pregnancy symptoms. sometimes i feel like i'm going to lose my mind, and i can't even imagine going through labor and having this pain on top of it.
i have constant contractions- day and night- and it keeps me feeling like i'm never going to know when i'm really in labor, and like it's just never going to happen.
my biggest concerns right now (besides intense sciatic nerve pain AND labor at the same time)
-how much weight i'm going to gain in the next few days
-more stretch marks
-having this baby on or just really close to shaeya's birthday- which is monday
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
0 days..........and hmmm.......no baby.
why is it that my babies never want to be born?
they drag this whole labor and delivery thing out as long as they can.
i know it's warm and cozy in there, but enough already-
mom's getting very big, and tired, and grouchy.......
Thursday, May 21, 2009
shaeya, tekoa, and i decided it was warm enough to fill up a pool on the deck for the ducks to swim in for the day. we hauled the hose around to the back of the house, and i threw the end up over the railing - it took quite a few tries to accomplish that :)
our deck is up on the 2nd floor of the house with no stairs to get up or down. we built it that way because we have no backyard to go down to- just a super steep ravine.
after we got the hose up on the deck, we turned on the water and then headed up to fill the pool.
the girls were so excited about the whole thing and we ended up spraying off the whole deck and table and chairs while we were at it.
they were still in their pajamas (it was about 8 in the morning) and i was letting them get a little wet. they thought it was hilarious.
we were having a great time until i tried to go back in the house to head back down and shut off the water. and the door was locked.
"no problem, shae, we have a key hidden right here by the door........
well, we used to......."
the key was gone. we were locked out. with the hose running full blast.
instantly shaeya starts panicking. "but mom, i want to go inside! i'm wet and cold and i have to
i tried to reassure her that it was really no big deal. we were FINE. we'd find a way in.
about an hour later i wasn't feeling quite so confident.
i had to strip shaeya down and hold her over the railing to let her pee.
she was laughing and crying histerically at the same time.
i just kept looking down and wanting to try to jump or lower myself over the rail to hang from the bottom of the deck and drop.
i probably would've tried something like that if i wasn't extremely pregnant.
the only thing i could think to do was try to peek around the side of the house and watch the road for someone out walking or something. i wasn't even sure anyone could hear us if we yelled, and i knew it could be hours before someone would happen to walk by.
and shaeya just kept crying and saying "what are we going to do, mom?!?! what's going to happen?!?!?
i just want to go INSIDE......when's daddy coming home??? are we stuck out here forvever?!?!!"
i have to mention that tekoa was having a WONDERFUL time playing in the duck pool with her pajamas on- with NO concerns at all about going back inside.
but shaeya and i were BOTH feeling pretty desperate at this point.
and then i thought of the hose. maybe i could use it somehow, like tie it to the railing and try to lower myself down. once again, probably could've done that if i wasn't quite so big. i wasn't even sure if i could hold my own body weight.
so then i thought of shaeya.....
i asked her if she wanted to try something REALLY brave.
she said, " yes, mom, whatever you want me to do, i will do- i just really want to get back inside."
so i told her we were going to tie the hose to her, put her over the railing, and lower her all the way to the ground.
and she said, "sure mom, i can do that."
i was shocked that she agreed to it (i guess that's what desperation will do to a 4 yr old) and kinda wishing she would've knocked the idea....but she really wanted off the deck.....and so did i....and i thought it just might work.
so i tied her up really good....with the hose running....completely soaking her and covering her with dirt and mud.....
i wrapped it through her legs a couple of times and around her chest, and then tried lifting her by the hose......and it held her........so before either of us could chicken out i lifted her over the railing and started lowering her down.
she was hilarious as she dangled through the air- she was yelling, "i'm doing it!! i'm making it!!!! i'm okay!!! i'm really making it!!!!
and then her feet touched the ground and she yelled, "I'M FREE!!!!!!"
she then had to untangle herself from the hose while it was spraying her in the face.
we were both laughing then, and just so relieved, but i knew that the front door was locked and the garage door was closed so we weren't really free yet.
i told shaeya to first shut off the water, and then she was going to have to be really brave again. i needed her to go to the front of the house and cross the street all by herself to see if anyone was home at the neighbor's house who could help us.
the poor girl is terrified to cross the street.
(hey, sometimes you just have to instill a little fear in them to make sure they stay safe!)
she sarted crying again. she was exhausted, and scared, and cold, and wet, and muddy. she was in her pajamas, and her hair was a mess. it broke my heart to watch her slowly walk away by herself- facing another fear alone.
but she made it.
she was back a few minutes later holding the neighbor's hand.
i was thoroughly embarrassed, but so thankful that he was home.
i gave him our code to the garage door, and he took shaeya around to the front and opened the garage for her. she ran through the house and threw the deck door open.
she flew into my arms and i told her she was the hero of the day.
needless to say, she has talked of nothing else since.
"mom, are you SO glad i was the hero of the day?? aren't you just SO happy to be back in the house?? .....i was sure brave, wasn't i mom? oh, i almost forgot that i was the hero of this day......did you almost forget, mom?? aren't you SO GLAD we're back in the house??????
i'm afraid of what she's telling her class today at preschool- i may have some explaining to do to her teachers when i pick her up..........but it's her very last day of school and the hero and i are going to mcdonald's for lunch to celebrate.
Monday, May 18, 2009
i'm at that lovely place in pregnancy where i think of the next 9 days and sometimes i am so excited and feel like the end is just right around the corner- and sometimes i wonder how i'm ever gonna live like this for 9 MORE DAYS. my sciatic nerve is causing all kids of problems and i'm hobbling around like a cripple all day. nighttime is the worst, though, and last night i was dreaming of just chopping my whole leg off. and the nausea is back- it's a battle to make it through the evenings without puking. sometimes i make it- sometimes i don't.
[slight break in typing as koa has just come up to me completely naked, and carrying a pair of zip up pajamas that she's wanting to wear. i guess i have to haul myself out of this chair and try to find her clothes.]
i keep telling myself to just try to enjoy the last little bit of pregnancy. i try to get myself to feel sad that after this it's all over- forever- but i just can't. i'm not going to miss much of anything about pregnancy. i think it's awful. love the end result, but not the 10 months it takes to get there.
i've been reminiscing on all my time spent being pregnant. all the crazy highs and lows. and a few beautiful moments stand out above the rest-
#1 would be the time i was canoening with my friend amanda. i was 9 months pregnant with tyden. i just wanted to move to the next seat in the boat, so i stood up. amanda looks up and says, "careful, michelle, you're really big." the last words spoken before i flipped the canoe and sent us both into the lake- fully dressed, of course.
#2 pregnant with shaeya. we were at a wedding at my church. i was just outgrowing my clothes, so i was wearing a long skirt that was a little too big. tyden tells me that he needs to go potty, so i stood up to take him. i took one step, tripped on my skirt and it fell right off. everyone in all the benches beside and behind us got a nice long glimpse of my bright "superman blue" underwear.
#3 shaeya again. i was getting pretty big, and i was at my brother's house sitting at his computer desk. tyden climbed up on my lap and then climbed onto the desk. i told him he needed to get down, so he stood up and said, "catch me, mom." he jumped. right over me. i tried to catch him as he sailed over my head, but his momentum took me and the chair with him. i hate how everyone panics when a pregnant girl goes flying and ends up on the floor in a chair with her legs straight up.
#4 very pregnant with tekoa this time. i was carrying shaeya down the stairs at home. my foot slipped off the edge of the step, and i fell flat on my back on the stairs- and partly on shaeya as well. i slowly sat up and looked down to see shaeya still lying on the stairs with big tears welling up in her eyes- and she said, "mom, you have to be more careful with me on the stairs."
#5 this last pregnancy has been pretty uneventful so far, but i did have one really good fall. this winter i was buckling tekoa's carseat into my mom's van- i clicked it in and then gave the seat belt a really good yank to tighten it up. somehow it came unlatched and sent me flying backwards- i landed on the icy driveway and partly on one of my dad's big rubber snow boots.
that one left me limping and really sore for a few days.
so many fun times, and despite all those really great memories, i think i'm going to weep with joy when it's finally all over. for good. 9 more days :)
just so you know, dave was in the process of mowing when i took these. wouldn't want anyone thinking we just leave our lawn looking like that.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
that was how we spent the morning on mother's day :) i loved every minute.
no regrets yet on the ducks, but they are messy little things.
the highlights of the last few days:
-mother's day (of course). we had a really nice morning together, and then dinner with dave's family.
-finding out that chad and julie are contributing to the family madness :) they made her a special shirt with #10 on the belly (10th grandkid) to wear to our family night and none of us geniuses noticed.
-friday morning was really foggy, and tyden and i were sitting on the front porch waiting for his bus to come when shaeya woke up and came out to join us. she stepped outside and looked around, then rubbed her eyes and said, "man, my eyes just aren't working too good this morning. oh, wait. i think it's just blurry outside." i loved that.
-girl power- me and the girls decided we could assemble our new wagon ourselves. luckily the wheel fell off right before we started on our walk.
-and the last highlight was when i let the kids cover my belly with stickers. they thought it was hilarious. i did too, until i tried to take them off. they each took a layer of skin with them - leaving me with lots of red welts all over my huge stomach. it was a beautiful sight. thankfully they've faded, so i wont scare the doctor when i'm in labor.
Friday, May 8, 2009
i must be crazy- but i thought this was something fun i could do for the kids during these last few weeks before the baby comes. it really has been fun, and it's the perfect way for them to have pets that are not a huge commitment. i keep telling myself that as soon as it gets overwhelming, i can always just let them go on mom and dad's lake (that's where they're going to end up anyway) and (if they make it) the kids can still see them and feed them all summer.
so all that said, my kids are completely in love with these 3 little ducks. we got them on wednesday, and they haven't stepped too far from their box since then. shaeya says over and over, "i just can't stop looking at these ducks, mom." and tekoa says over and over, "i waaanna see da chickens." so needless to say, all the talk in our house these days is about ducks (or chickens). the kids can't wait til they get a little bigger and they can play with them outside.
and our other news- i had my sonogram yesterday. my mom came with me and we brought all the kids so they could see the baby. it was exciting- not as exciting as ducks, mind you, but they did like watching her - yep, she's still a her :). she was moving like crazy, and sucking on her hand (so cute!) she looked so beautiful and her cheeks looked really filled out. looks like she's around 6 lbs 13 oz. shaeya was 6 lbs 3 oz when she was born, and tekoa was 7 lbs 8 oz. so this one will be more like tekoa. dave and i are both getting so anxious for her to be born, and all of OUR talk these days is of how fun it will be to have a baby in the house again.
-one of the VERY MANY things that i love about my husband is that he is SO great with babies- he loves having a newborn as much as i do. part of the joy of it all for me is just watching him with his baby. i can't wait.
Monday, May 4, 2009
i've been trying to keep reminding myself that she's in pain. not that that excuses any bad behavior, but at least i know the cause of it.
and speaking of koa- her big news is that she no longer sleeps in a crib. daddy "fixed" her crib, so now it's a "big girl bed".
i was dreading this transition- picturing her wandering through the house at night and getting into things. but she's done really great with it so far. after testing it out to make sure she could still bang her head in it, she was pefectly fine with sleeping in it all night. i love the mornings (and after naps) when she wakes up and comes walking out. she shuts her door behind her and then announces to everyone that "koa's awake!!"
well other than that, here's some of what we've been doing lately.
lots of animals. they've been loving it.
poor tyden- i usually just don't mention all we've done while he was at school.
so, anyway, this is a pretty exciting week for me.
my cousin kristin is having her baby tomorrow. we've been pregnant together all this time, and now she's leaving me to finish alone :)
okay, not entirely alone. my good friend bethany is also having a baby, and she's finding out if hers is a boy or girl this week. i'm so anxious and excited for both of them.
wednesday is the last night of "team kids"- the kids program at my church that i've been leading music for. let me tell you, it is getting really hard to "wear" my guitar these days. i have to stand there and try to put it on the side of my belly to actually play it. i'm sure i look hilarious.
thursday is my sonogram to find out how big the baby is. (feels big enough to me)
dave says he's still holding onto a bit of hope that maybe the first sono was wrong, and there really is a boy in there :) he's crazy about his girls, but i think 3 is just a bit intimidating....i understand completely, but by this point my heart is set on another girl.