I've been thinking and praying about the 'bread of life' lately because we started studying the book of John at church. Thinking about the state of being hungry and the state of being full.
And this morning I felt the Lord speaking to me about my marriage and how the same truths of hunger and fullness also apply in this area.
I realize that when I am hungry at home I soak my husband in. I can't get enough of who he is and what he does. And even the friction from our differing personalities seems to be smoothed over and made beautiful.
It sets the tone for so much peace and joy in our home. It flows over onto our children and our friends and so many other areas in our lives...
And then I have times when my husband is not the main course for me at home but just another side dish.
I let life creep in and fill me.
Children, extended family, friendships, ministry, housework.....my wants, my needs, my view, my goals, my comfort....
When I am filled to the brim with all of the above, then I have no appetite left for my husband. Every little extra thing he needs or asks is an annoyance.
I get critical of his actions and even his attempts to fill me.
Because I am already full.
Even the best meal is rejected because I can't possibly fit any more in. I only want to be left alone with my fullness....
And that spills over onto our children and into every other area of life too.
The joy in our home is gone and we are left with keeping up appearances and striving harder than we were ever meant to.
So here's the thing- when I'm seeking first and only the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, when my desire is to make His name great and my name small, when I'm emptied of my love for myself and full of Jesus' love for me, and the walls are down, lies replaced with the Word, and I'm walking forgiveness- then I am so very hungry for Jesus and for the incredible man He has given me to make me more like Him.
And every other thing takes it's rightful place as just another side dish.
"One who is full loathes honey from the comb, but to the hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet." Proverbs 27:7