Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Session #2

okay today's session was much harder for me.
i want so bad to form relationships with these kids, and it is SO HARD.
the relationship part is easy, it's the letting go a bit with my own kids that is hard.
i can't watch tekoa every second, and she wanders. she ate a lot of food off the ground today and it is SO GROSS!!!

i saw a group of girl's today just watching from the street, so i walked over to talk to them- leaving tekoa on the playground and the baby on a blanket.
i talked them into joining us, and then tried to spend time with them. we sat and talked and they wanted to hear me play guitar, so we sang a bit and they took turns holding the baby.
SO HARD to let her be passed around (not super gently) knowing how not clean the girl's hands and clothes were. SO HARD knowing i wasn't watching tekoa as closely as i wanted to.

but seeing these girl's eyes light up at my attention tells me that i'm where i'm supposed to be on tuesday afternoons. and i know that living out my faith is not supposed to be clean and easy and safe all the time. and if God can use this to make a difference for just one it is worth it.
and i know that my children really will be fine. they don't REALLY need as much as i give them, and it's okay to let go a bit.

the girl's kept asking when we'd be coming back which is exciting to me.
so all in all it was a good day. in spite of tekoa peeing her pants at the playground- which to me was way better than using someone's bathroom or potty chair. it was the very first time that i was actually just glad she did it.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Summer Sessions on Wiswall

yep, i think she's adjusting quite well, don't you???

we had our first summer session at the mission on tuesday. i wasn't sure how it would go bringing all my kids, but i think it went pretty well.

we aren't actually having it at the mission this year. we've moved to a small park in the middle of a bunch of housing projects off of Wiswal. (it's really close to the mission)
we have music, a bible story, games, and a snack.

lisa spread the word down there about our tuesday sessions, and we had about 10 kids at first.
then a baptist church that was trying to advertise for their vacation bible school joined up with us- and they had a clown and balloons, so we ended up with a big crowd.

i played guitar and sang songs with the kids after they got their balloons. i have poster boards with all the words, and the kids took turns with my "chicken shake" (a little egg shaped instrument). they all seemed to have a really good time. and they were singing their little hearts out even though they didn't know the songs yet :)

the highlights-

-tekoa popping a water balloon on baby wren- she was lying beside me on the blanket while we sang

-tekoa picking up all kinds of treasures from the ground (old lip gloss, a half eaten doughnut, a used cup...) and putting them in her mouth

-tekoa telling me she had to go potty in the middle of the singing- a lady from around there heard her and offered her bathroom. i would really have preferred to just let her go outside somewhere but i couldn't tactfully turn the lady down.
turned out her brother was in the bathroom, and had "just sat down" from what i heard him yell, so she offered a potty chair that hadn't been washed out for quite some time......

-the dumpsters full of rotten garbage baking in the heat right beside the park

*if you think of it, say a prayer for us that the children could hear the truth, and learn that they are loved and have value. that we could have the right words, the right songs, and the right perspectives.....

Monday, June 22, 2009

Father's Day

so- i'm tacking "shopping for a father's day gift" to my ever growing list of "things i can do while nursing a baby". don't worry- she was in the sling. hey, ya do what ya gotta do.

we had a great father's day yesterday- we told dave it was his day, and we would do whatever he wanted. so, we ended up at the "big lake".
since we hadn't been there since the day before....:)

we swam with the kids, took them jet-skiing and tubing, went down the big water slide, jumped off the new "high dive" dock, went off the rope swing, fed our ducks, and did some fishing.

wish i had more pictures, but i was too busy having fun with the kids to take them.


tubing with tyden- he loved going with his MOM

taking tekoa down the big water slide- her eyes were huge

shaeya's first jump off the high dive- she climbed up with us just to watch, and after i jumped off, she just went. she didn't say anything, just jumped. it was so funny- i love that kid.

feeding minnows to some huge bass- they come right up by you and make big splashes- the kids love it

lightening, lilly, and tinkerbell- remember them? they're huge! and they're enjoying life at the big lake

my girly girls.....

ty's quite the fisherman- he catches some seriously big fish all by himself with his little lightening mcqueen fishing pole

she was pretty proud of herself!

and that ends our weekend at the lake. we headed home with a short van full of really tired kids
and a really tired but happy mom. and dave said he had a wonderful father's day :)

my sweet, sweet baby- i fall more in love with her everyday.........and yes, all the hair is falling off the top of her head- my little baldy.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

June 10th?

i've been wanting to post.....i just feel like i'm kind of in a fog. my days pass by so quickly- actually i never really know what day it is. they all kind of blend together. tyden asked me today if it was summer yet, and i said summer starts on june 21, and i think it's like the 10th or something.

tyden and shaeya are in the middle of their second week of vbs- the first week was at our church, and this week it's at their pre-school. and it's in the morning. it's pretty tough to have everybody up and ready and out the door by 8:45, but it's been a lot of fun for them- and a little break for me.

i can now add typing to my list of things i can do while nursing a baby.....thought she would sleep for a bit so i could do this but i guess not.

but things are settling down and the kids are adjusting- tekoa hasn't peed her pants in a few days so that's encouraging. she's just still having a hard time listening. and she scales my kitchen cabinets all day long. i walk out into the kitchen to find her standing on the countertops and getting into the upper cabinets. and she tries to run outside when i'm not looking. oh, and she has a fascination with my make-up, and the baby's daipers and wipes, and the balmex. and my purse. and the band-aids. and all our hand soap and lotion.
there's just not anywhere i can put all these things where she can't get to them.

but other than that she's doing okay.

and that about sums up my life right now.
well- there is the whole van thing also.
our "short" van is feeling pretty cramped.
we've been looking for a full size mini-van. it's not going so well. there just aren't as many used vans out there right now, and we can't find what we're wanting. and we do know what we want- been driving a minivan since i was 22 :)
everyone keeps telling us, "if you only woulda came last month......"
we just didn't know how small our van would feel last month. or that there would be a van shortage.
we test drove one last week- it was fun moving 4 car seats around. and tekoa decided to pee in the old van right before we left it with them to look at- and then later peed in the new van (luckily in her carseat this time)

hopefully we get this overwith soon........

looking forward to another night of bonding with baby wren- i don't really mind the nighttime feedings, it's the only time i get to be alone with her :)

Monday, June 8, 2009

Just Some Pictures

wren's first day home.....


Friday, June 5, 2009

Life After Baby

first of all, this was our pathetic attempt at a birthday party for shaeya on monday night.
5 candles in a half-eaten cake. and we totally forgot to give her her present (a wooden bead set and a shirt with horses on it) until she was getting ready for bed. so she opened it in her underwear. no picture :)

thankfully my sister had planned a party for her on sunday with her friends and some family-
they all went to the circus, and she had a GREAT time. i heard all about all the different kinds of horses there, and she is now telling people she wants to be in the circus when she grows up instead of being a vetratarian......

wren's first bath- i think she enjoyed it- i got her all nice and clean and then she puked all over herself......she's an angel, but she sure pukes a lot.
she saw the doctor on wednesday and she weighed 7 pounds 10 ounces. so she's getting plenty to eat. maybe a little too much.

and as for the others......we've had our ups and downs. they're all adjusting in their own ways.
if i thought tekoa was wild before, she's times 10 now. trying to get into things to get my attention, and if i don't notice, she'll tell on herself. and she's peeing her pants all the time.
but- she loves wren, and she's trying to fit in more with tyden and shaeya. she seems so grown up, and just really big, and she's talking alot more- really trying to put more sentences together. it's hilarious.

suprisingly, shaeya has handled it all pretty well. now that school's done and we're just home everyday i let her wear whatever she wants. it's a battle i'm choosing not to fight right now (i hope i don't regret this in the future). so she's wearing her new horse shirt. and i'm slightly embarrased to admit that she's been wearing it everyday. okay, she hasn't taken it off yet.
since monday. but she's happy.

and then tyden. usually my easiest, most laid back child. he's having a hard time- he's very emotional about every little thing. he's teasing the girls constantly. he's forgetting everything i tell him.
we're fully aware that we expect a lot out of him because he's the oldest and he's a boy, and we're really trying to make sure he gets one on one time everyday. dave's been throwing frisbees with him every night, and i make sure i hold him for awhile everytime he comes to me crying.
it doesn't help that he's also transitioning from being at school all day to being at home all day. he gets bored. and the girls and i take a nap everyday, and it's pure torture for him to be alone during that time.
but after this week, he and shaeya will have 2 weeks of vacation bible school, so maybe that'll help.

with all that aside, the rest is going great.
wren has been sleeping really good the last few nights, and last night she actually slept 5 hours straight. i feel wonderful today.

and i'm quickly (re)learning how many other things you really can accomplish while you're nursing a baby. answering a phone, wiping a bottom, breaking up a fight, holding a crying 7 yr. old, reading a book to 3 others, putting all the wipes back into the container......

this is wren's first time in the sling. she thinks she's in heaven. i just got it out yesterday, and i already can't imagine life without it :)

i feel so content and blessed and SO THANKFUL for where God has brought us. i think back to all the time we spent trying to get pregnant. i think about the 2 babies we lost. i remember wondering if God was really hearing our prayers, and if i somehow had to "earn" an answer.
but now i'm seeing part of the beautiful picture that He was seeing all along. and i see how he has changed us and is still changing us into the parents that these children need. and he has given us a love for each other that surpasses anything i thought possible.

and i'm trying so hard to hold on to each moment with these little ones because i know how quickly time will steal them away......

Monday, June 1, 2009


Wren Alea
7 pounds, 9 ounces 19&1/2 inches

so after all that whining and complaining on thursday, i ended up going into labor that night :)

and i kept it under 12 hours. started at 10:00pm on thursday, and she was born at
9:39am on friday morning. met my goal by 21 minutes :)

i let dave sleep a couple of hours before i told him i was in labor, then around 1:30 we called dave's sister maria. she had offered to come stay with our kids when the baby came- thanks again, maria!
and we called my mom who came to be with me. i felt like things were moving pretty quickly and by 3:30 the contractions were pretty intense and about 3-4 minutes apart so we headed to the hospital. where they told me i was a 3. and i was very discouraged but not suprised.

about 6 hours and 3 doses of morphine later i was a 6.
my midwife had headed back to the office to get a few things done, so it was a nurse who checked me to tell me i was a 6. right after she did that, i felt some really intense, terrible pain and kind of felt like i needed to push. and the nurse told me that no, it wasn't time for that yet. but by the next contraction i was pushing and the nurse checked me again- even though i very kindly and politely asked her not to- and i was a 10. so then the nurse tells me that my midwife is still at the office so i can't push yet. just breathe through the contractions.
sure, lady, no problem.
i didn't care at all about my midwife at that point.
about 2 minutes later i told her the baby was coming- she kept telling i couldn't have the baby yet (dave says she said all this very nicely, but that's not the way i remember it at all) but then she finally took me seriously when she looked under the sheet and saw the baby's head.
they called in a doctor and he was getting ready to deliver the baby when my midwife breezed in just in time to catch her. she said she made it to the hospital in 4 minutes.

so that's that. it's over, and i am so thrilled to be done with pregnancy and labor, and to be holding baby wren.

we are so in love. she is so good and so beautiful. i think she looks a lot like shaeya.

we got home yesterday afternoon. i thoroughly enjoyed my 2 peaceful days in the hospital with dave and the baby, but i missed my kids a lot. it's good to be home.