i get my internet back tomorrow.....that felt like an ETERNITY.

i feel like a weight has been lifted off me because we got our appliances ordered, made a decision on our siding, and got the hardwood for the main floor picked out.

AND because it is MARCH.

march means we are that much closer.....

closer to getting the kids OUT OF THE HOUSE.

closer to shorts and flip-flops (i always celebrate the end of washing hundreds of pairs of little socks everyday.)

closer to drywall.

closer to painting which means closer to my husband- can't wait to be able to work with him.

closer to the end of school.

closer to MOVING.

march means it has officially been 1 year since we bought our lot and put our house up for sale. one year since my world got flipped upside down. one year since i lost my husband to the new house.

if we have survived this far we will surely make it to the end, right??

God is so good. He has led us the whole way and given us the grace to take on a couple of full time jobs each and barely see each other and make huge financial decisions and hundreds of other house decisions in the small amount of time that we are together.

and we still love each other. for the most part. :)

and i still love my kids with whom i am stuck 24/7.....

even when they ignore the fact that i am on the phone with someone else, or when they fight over everything, or when they deceive me into thinking they're keeping their pull-ups dry at night and then i find a drawer full of a collection of old soggy wet pull-ups (my genius of a 3 yr old). or when they reach up and pull my heavy glass lid to my crock pot off of the counter and onto the tile floor resulting in a spray of glass that reaches every corner of the room (i still have a piece in my foot that i cannot get out.) or when they take off their diaper and then pee on the floor (she showed me the pee and then told me that she "spilled"), wear their shirts inside out to school, or flop on the spelling test that we went over and over and over.....

yep. still love them. more than ever.

they are my joy, my blessings, my accountability, my reflection of my Father's love for me.

tekoa turns 4 on tuesday and we've been planning a "gymnastics party."

we won a free 1 hour private gym session at the place she takes gymnastics so we are using it for her party, and she is SO excited.

i found her some used gymnastics equipment (a mat, a wedge, and a foam balance beam) on craigslist. she is going to LOVE it. hopefully all my girls and my nieces will have fun with it.

and we are going to a HORSE SHOW on saturday. shaeya is going to be in HEAVEN.

speaking of shaeya....last night at dinner she blurted out, "it's hard to stay alive, isn't it?"

i said, "you mean to eat healthy and drink enough water?"

and she said, "no...it's hard to not get killed. people die in accidents and they get old and die."

i asked her if that made her afraid and she said it kind of did.....and then i had the opportunity i had been praying for to talk with her about who Jesus is to her. and why she doesn't need to be afraid.

i think it went well, but she just doesn't feel as much as tyden does. i hope and pray that the truth is being embedded in her little heart....

and that God will give her and i many more of those teachable moments.

tomorrow i am taking my kids to the nursing home to sing, and i invited the kids from school to come and sing some of our songs from music class.

i am really excited, it should be a lot of fun. as long as my 2 little ones cooperate.....