Monday, January 11, 2010

"Put Your Dang Kids To Bed"

okay, i don't usually post other people's words, but this seriously cracked me up!!
and it is all too true :)

and mom, just so you know- i didn't, haven't ever, will not start now, using the word "dang"
.....just to clear that up.

"I'm hereby offering advice to no one in particular. No one asked for it, and no one should vainly imagine themselves its intended audience. So be not offended. I didn't have you in mind. You probably think this song is about you? Don't you? Don't you?"

Put Your Dang Kids to Bed
"Seriously. You can do it.
If you want to have a marriage with some zing, put your dang kids to bed. Put them to bed EARLY. Put them to bed on time, the same time, every night, and make them stay there.
Then, go goof off with your wife. Laugh and talk and unwind and watch "Walker, Texas Ranger" until you can't laugh anymore. Be unproductive. Smooch. Do this every night.
Your kids need to sleep, and they can sleep. They actually don't have to get up every ten minutes. They're just doing that to get attention and delay bedtime. Don't allow it, or you're a PANSY.
This gives you -- and, more importantly, your wife -- some peaceful time, every day, to look forward to. Moreover, it lets you stay happily married. She's under less stress, you have time to connect, life is good, your marriage means something, and you remember you're not just roomies with junior-size roomies running around.

Don't just "help" with bedtime. SUPERVISE IT, ENTIRELY. Let your wife use that time as wind-down time, or to take care of last-minute things. Kids will want to make bedtime an endless parade of traditions, too, in order to stave it off. Don't let this happen. Make it as simple a process as possible. If you want to read a story, awesome! Just start early enough that the lights go off at the appointed time. Your kids will start to complain. Too bad. Lights off. Sweet dreams. Buh-bye.
Let them know that your time with your wife trumps all other considerations, and, after their bedtime, THEY are "other considerations." Kids resist this, but -- deep down -- positively love it.
7 p.m. is not too early for young children. Give yourself a couple hours together, not one or two nights a week, but five or six.
If she's stressed out every night, because of her job, let her quit her job. If you can't afford it, afford it. Sell stuff. Move. Rent. Forget the college fund. Don't buy dumb cars and houses and stuff to make yourself feel cool, and miss out on a joyous, stress-limited marriage. She can take care of herself. It'll give her time, and energy, to love her children, her neighbors, and you.
So you bought her a nice car? Who gives a rip? She'd rather drive an old mini-van and have you around, living life together at a sweet, beautiful pace. Even if she doesn't think she wants this, she does.
Quit buying garbage and live in a trailer if you have to. And put your trailer-kids to bed, for crying out loud. Don't let them get up unless it's an EMERGENCY. Smooch your wife.
There. Sheesh."

and just so you all know- this is definitely not me trying to speak to dave about anything-
he could've written this himself. he didn't- he just could've. :)
......without the "dang" of course, mom.


  1. my my, what IS this blog rated??! Just as soon as you think something is isn't:)!!

    However, besides the redneck adjectives, I will say AMEN! There are WAY to many kids running their homes in my opinion. It's easy to look back and go..."oh yeah, I said one thing but let them do another...I taught them that! Duh!!!

  2. Ha, for the first time I also used a bad word on my blog, it's good to know I wasn't alone today, what is it with Mondays.
    Glad for the post Michelle

  3. Hahaha! So great Michelle! Did you write this? Kate and I just had this conversation as to how awesome their life is with Sam living on a schedule. He loves it they love it and they do have time to reconnect and be blessed by it.

  4. I was blog stalking and ran into this post and laughed so hard ... I loved it and it's soooo true! Thanks for posting it! May I ask where you found it though?!

  5. Do you mind it I post it on my blog?!

  6. it is funny communicating through blogs ... I guess I could find you one facebook or something!! Julie speaks of you quite often and after reading your blog ... I feel like I know you! You are a great mommy and your post really keep me going some days when I think I'm going to loose my mind:) If you don't mind I will post your blog on my blog list!

    Have a great day!