Our Adoption Story

"trust Me, and don't be afraid. many things feel out of control. your routines are not running smoothly. you tend to feel more secure when your life is predictable. let Me lead you to the rock that is higher than you and your circumstances. take refuge in the shelter of My wings, where you are absolutely secure.
when you are shaken out of your comfortable routines, grip My hand tightly and look for growth opportunities. instead of bemoaning the loss of your comfort, accept the challenge of something new. i lead you on from glory to glory, making you fit for my kingdom. say yes to the ways i work in your life. trust Me, and do not be afraid."

Jesus Calling
April 15, 2011

a prayer, a phone call, and these words...and my life is now changed forever.

here's our adoption story-

dave and i have always talked about adoption, and always prayed that if God ever wanted us to adopt that He would show us how and when.
and we were getting serious about pursuing it until we found our lot and put our house up for sale. we decided then to put the adoption thoughts on hold until we were settled in a new house.
and then once we started building the house, every time adoption came up dave would say, "i'm just praying that you and God will let me get the house done first."

and then saturday, april 9th, dave and i were invited to a seminar at cornerstone church on orphan care and adoption.
i felt really strongly that we were supposed to go, and dave surprised me by saying without any hesitation that he would take the night off and come with me.

during the seminar our hearts were moved by the stories of waiting children, children without homes, and scripture verses about caring for orphans and adoption. and at the end of the night we were each given a candle to light as we stood in a huge circle in the dark. someone there prayed for each person that God would move hearts and show us how we could make a difference in the lives of children.
the question was asked, "if you can't change the world, will you change the world for ONE?"

our hearts said YES.
as i blew out my candle i prayed that God would use us for His glory and in His timing show us how we can make a difference. and if there was a child out there waiting for us that He would show us how and when to bring him home.

we talked about adoption all weekend. we talked to our parents and some of our friends about how we would like to adopt someday. we talked about how great it would be to adopt a baby boy from within the US. and we made neat, tidy plans to pursue this further once our house was done and maybe when our children were a little older.

then on tuesday night, april 12th, (4 days after the seminar) i had just put my kids to bed and was rocking wren to sleep when my phone rang. it was my aunt sally who lives in arizona.
she began to tell me about an 8 month old baby boy in louisiana who needed a home.
she said that when she heard of this she immediately thought of dave and i.

my heart was RACING. i could not even believe that this was happening.
and i KNEW.
i knew this was the work of my Father, i knew he was ours, i knew our lives were about to change forever.
i called dave and started by saying, "Dave, we have a CRAZY God......"
and before i knew it i was holding the phone number of this baby's birth mother in my hand and my phone in the other. and my heart was in my throat.

she didn't answer so i left a voicemail and fell to my knees on the kitchen floor and prayed. i prayed that God would lead her to call me back if that is what He had ordained. i prayed for wisdom, and the right words, and for love.
and while i was still on my knees my phone rang again.
it was her.
a thousand thoughts were racing through me and one of them was how do i even start this conversation with this mother?

somehow God led me through it and she ended up telling me that i could come get the baby anytime.

and i have been in a whirlwind ever since.
just 2 days later, on april 15th, my mom and i were on a plane headed for new orleans.

i met my beautiful new son named nikau (neeko) and his mother that day.
we spent a little time with her before we met with a lawyer and signed the papers that made him (temporarily) ours.
his mom and i both cried as she kissed him for the last time and placed him in my arms. my mom and i then loaded him and his car seat and his other few belongings into a taxi to head back to the airport.

and that's when i lost it.
i was sobbing and asking WHY.
WHY is this mother giving away this beautiful baby boy??
and WHY is God giving him to me??
i am so unworthy and so human and so selfish and so imperfect as a mother.
and i have 4 other children...what about those that try and wait and long for a baby? what about the people in my life that are also willing and wanting to adopt?
why me? why now? why this family?

but i cannot deny that this is from God. He has made that so abundantly clear. i know it will not be easy and that i am going to have to depend on my Savior for every day. i know He will give me grace and that His grace is enough.
He is forever changing the life of this little boy, He is working in the lives of my kids, and i know that He is working in dave's heart and mine.

He is making us all fit for His kingdom.

more to follow....