Monday, February 25, 2013

i sure love that man.  more than ever.  he is such a great team mate to have with me in this crazy life :)

love these two also :)

yesterday wren was begging for juice, and she told me that if i gave her juice, it would help her do what God tells her to do.  
crack me up.  
well, i gave her a cup of juice :)  she drank it down, and then set her empty cup down on the table and said, "aahhhhh."
and i said, "so now you can do what God tells ya, huh?"
and she said, "uhhhh no.  just kidding!"  
you gotta love that kid....

oh, and she surprised me with this one-
i've never worked with her on letters or on writing her name.....
so stinkin cute :)


and neiko.........well i was sick last week.  with an awful stomach flu of some sort.  it was BAD. 
and when mom is out of commission.....well, neiko takes advantage.  i makes being sick (which is plenty bad enough!) even more miserable.   

actually when mom is sick, all kinds of crazy things go on.  
bunny spent the night in the basement one night.  apparently he was taken down there to be played with and then forgotten.  i have yet to go down there and assess the damage......
and a little fish food never hurt anyone, right?? i mean neiko will live.....? i don't think he ate TOO much of it.....
kids go with out baths and they stay in the same clothes for days......
and they pack their own snacks for snacktime at school....

her teacher took that pic- she was cracking up :)

well............ok............moving on..................
i've been much more quiet about the changes in our life these last two months than i would have liked to be.  i've been trying to be careful and considerate.  but i find myself losing my desire to blog.....
what else is there to write about if i can't write about what God is doing? 
so my decision is this-
i'm going to write.  and really, the blog is a journal.  my public journal.  and it has to stay that way or else it loses the heart of it all and dies.
so i'm going to do my best to journal what God is doing in our lives in a truthful way. with regards to, but not dwelling in fear of offense of, my friends and family in the old church and in the new.....
not an easy task! :)

it has been incredible to us get to know and to hear the challenges and the life stories of our new church family.  
they have overcome such great obstacles- loss of loved ones, abuse, addiction, broken homes, rejection and betrayal from parents, pregnancy out of wedlock, incarceration, job loss.....
some of which tends to make dave and i feel almost embarrassed of the ease of life that we have had so far.
but it also AMAZES us to see how God has allowed them to overcome.  these people are such great examples of how God is the one who truly saves.  
to HIM be the glory.
an amazing testimony of someone who has lived through horrible circumstances, with no earthly example to follow whatsoever, and yet lives sold out for Jesus brings Him much glory.
and an amazing testimony of someone who has been kept from much, and who had a Godly example to follow, and has loved and served Him from youth also brings Him much glory.

another thing we are learning more about is the sin of PRIDE.  which i am highly guilty of.
i'm embarrassed to say that i came into the new church thinking that i had something great to offer.  that i would jump right in and start serving.
but i've been humbled.  these people have something that i don't.  and they are ministering to me.  and offering to help me and pray for me.

i am guilty of thinking that my upbringing and the side of town i live on made me somehow better.
but i am learning differently.
God is opening my eyes to my pride and showing me more about humility.

"For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned."

God assigns the faith.
and it is the FAITH in the shed blood of Christ that God has given that changes people.  

and living in humility means not making much of myself, or thinking that i am the one who has put me where i am at in life, or that i am in any way better than any of God's other children.
i am not better than the woman who had an addiction and found Jesus in jail.
i am no different than the girl who was molested and then got pregnant out of wedlock.
i am nothing at all apart from Jesus.

please help me Jesus!
keep opening my eyes to how much this time on earth is about YOU and YOUR WORK and YOUR GLORY, and not ME and my FAMILY and my SAFETY and my FEELINGS and my COMFORT.

so now i have to tell you about a truly beautiful moment in my life- which happened yesterday.
LaKisha and her husband Kevin and their kids came to church with us.
it was incredible.
it was my first time meeting Kevin because he was just released from jail.
they sat in the row behind us.
and during worship i stood holding their baby with tears streaming down my face in complete awe of what God has done.  how He orchestrated all of this to intertwine our families.  how He had this plan in mind the very first time LaKisha and i met.  how all of the stretching and changing us both was leading to this.
and hopefully to much much more still yet to come.
He is so good.
He makes my heart overflow with love for Him and trust in Him.

but i still have so far to go.
i am still just learning how to truly depend on Him and His promises.
He is still helping me to believe that the God who is big enough to be fully God and fully man at the same time, big enough to die once and forever free us from sin, big enough to save the broken and abused, to place the lonely in families, to keep us from evil, to let evil change us for good, a God who created every inch of this earth and the vastness of the universe and the hair on my head is a God who is most definitely big enough to provide exactly what dave and i, our children, and someday their children need for salvation.

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