Thursday, May 19, 2011

this is what one side of my kitchen table looks like.
we are making some progress with all the decision making....i think.

the drywall is done and it looks amazing. the taping is halfway done.
i think they start framing up for the driveway and 2 patios on friday.

i don't know if i mentioned yet that our house will be in the parade of homes which is sometime at the end of june- we are hoping to have the inside painted, the floors laid, and the landscaping done before then....we have our work cut out for us.

the girls have been amazingly good. they have been playing together so well- a miracle.

tyden is going through kind of a tough time as shaeya is pulling away from him and playing "girl stuff" with tekoa more and more.

also, his best friend at school (who happens to be a girl) is starting to want to play with shaeya during recess instead of him.
i feel bad for him, but it's definitely time for him to find some close friends who are boys.
just another reason why i'm anxious to move! there are 3 boys his age in the new neighborhood!
but in the meantime i don't think it's bad for him to learn to play alone. and to learn to use his imagination instead of always relying on shaeya to entertain him.

tekoa graduated from preschool today :)
she had been rubbing it in to tyden and shaeya that she only had "one more day" to go.

on tuesday morning as i was getting her ready for her second to last day of school she said, "mom, i have 2 more days of school, then one more day, and then i'm FREE!!!!!"
i laughed pretty hard. apparently preschool really ties ya down :)

my brother has a baby raccoon that my kids are in love with-

this is neiko trying to get to me from the grass- he doesn't like grass :)
i think he calls me mama, what do you think??

its been a month since we brought neiko home.
people keep asking me if he feels just like one of my own now.
and i don't really know how to answer that question....

for awhile I was feeling a little bit frustrated with him for not responding to me like one of my own babies would at certain times. I kept thinking that with time and love he would end up being just like one of my babies.
but then my husband reminded me that I can't expect that of him. i can't just pretend like the first 8 & 1/2 months of his life didn't happen.
they did happen.
and he didn't get everything he needed during that time.

so i need to be okay with not having the same exact bond with him as i did with my own babies.
it makes things much easier on us both when i accept that and love him just the way he is.

this means not trying to force him to let me rock him when he doesn't want to be rocked. or not being disappointed when he pulls away when i kiss him, or not being frustrated when he doesn't want to interact with me the same way my babies did.

we are still learning each other's moods and likes/dislikes. we are still figuring each other out- it just doesn't happen overnight. even with a baby.
the good thing, though, is that i love him. he is so very sweet and funny and CUTE.
and his smile is the most beautiful thing in this entire world.

AND i know that with time, he will be like one of my kids.

also- while i'm on the subject of neiko- his doctor appointment went really well. my pediatrician said he looks great, and he's right where he should be for a nine month old.
he is in the 80% for weight and the 83% for height.
and she is okay with the lack of medical history for now. relief.

want an example of how amazing our God is?
i had a rough day the other day. i was feeling a little down and really frustrated with how i just can't get everything done in a day that needs to be done.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor with all the kids climbing on me and/or fighting for my attention and looking around at the pile of dishes in the sink and the filth on the floor and the unfinished homework on the table and the pile of samples to sort through for the new house and all the unmade decisions that they represent and i wanted to QUIT. all of it.
and then i felt guilty for having those feelings.
so i asked God to help me. to speak to me and lift me up.
i reached up to the counter and pulled my "Jesus Calling" book down and this is what i read:

"I am a Mighty God. Nothing is too difficult for me. I have chosen to use weak ones like you to accomplish my purposes. Your weakness is designed to open you up to My Power.
Therefore, do not fear your limitations or measure the day's demands against your strength. What i require of you is to stay connected to Me, living in trusting dependence on My limitless resources.
When i allow difficulties to come into Your life, i equip you fully to handle them. Relax in My Presence, trusting in my strength."
Luke 1:37 & 2 Cor. 12:9

i am so thankful that He is patient with me as i try to learn to depend only on Him and to live by His grace alone.
i am thankful that He can use weak people.
and i am thankful that He keeps reminding me that my #1 job in this life is to have a relationship with Him and to strive to bring Him glory.
and i'm so very thankful for the tremendous blessing and opportunity i have to serve and teach 5 of His children everyday :)

i am also thankful that over the weekend i was able to meet with a group of people from my church and as a result of that meeting i am being given the opportunity to help lead a time of worship before church every sunday.
i have been seeing a vision of this worship time for about a month now, and i can't believe that is actually coming to be.
to God be all the glory!!!!

....getting to church early every sunday means someone's gonna have to just go in their pajamas. hopefully it doesn't end up being me :)

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