Not Our Home

i've started and deleted this post quite a few times now as i have no words to describe my thoughts.

my heart breaks for my family- this is a nightmare no parent should ever have to go through and this is their second time around.

we met as a family last night to have some time together before the visitation and funeral, and to say our good-byes to gabriel.
it was so hard.
i just keep repeating to myself over and over, "this world is not our home."
this world is NOT our home.

joan and i were pregnant together with gabriel and shaeya.
she was 12 weeks ahead of me. i remember when gabriel was born and i held him for the first time. i remember thinking he was so beautiful and so perfect and he made me SO anxious to meet my own baby.

turns out they looked a lot alike- with their matching blonde hair and brown eyes, and their tiny little frames.











i remeber one sunday when they were 3 years old and i was teaching sunday school for their class. i gathered all the kids together and sat down with them on the floor. i told them we were gonna have some prayer time, and i asked if anyone had anything they wanted to pray for.
gabriel raised his hand and said, "i have a brother named joshua and he died. he's in heaven with Jesus, and i want to pray for him."
so we did.

and now they are together.....would've loved to be there to see them meet for the first time.

someday.....someday we'll all be there and we'll finally see the big picture and we'll have all the answers. and we'll be bettter able to grasp that this world is not our home. it is NOT our home.
but until then, we will miss you gabriel. you were such a sweet, beautiful little boy.

okay, switching gears here-
i still haven't put clothes away from our trip or made it to the grocery store- i haven't had a day home to get things done, and i'm just really unmotivated and tired.
and it doesn't help that wren has been up every 2 hours to eat for the last few nights, and is not napping well during the day.

but this morning i had all my neices here (except for kali) and we had a good time. it was great to have them for awhile and to just lose myself in having fun with them.
we braided hair, ate snacks, and did crafts at the table. or as koa would say-
"crack at the table."
"yea, i wanna do crack!!! i wanna do crack at the table!!!"
guess i should make sure she doesn't blurt that out in public.



and if you're a really good aunt, then when you're short a few paintbrushes you let them use your make-up brushes.
priorities, right??



and speaking of tekoa.....
yesterday she walks up to me with a daiper and says, "hey mom, will you help me put this on wren?"
when i ask her why she says, "cause she pooped in her other one."
and yep, i found wren daiperless on my rug in the livingroom. her little bare bottom spreading poop all over the rug. thanks for the help tekoa.

2 other blog-worthy tekoa sayings-
we went out to dinner last night and tekoa picked the pepper shaker up off the table and said, "this salt is all dirty."
and then the other night i was singing her a bedtime song and she asked me if i could turn it up a little bit louder. :)

well that's about it-
tomorrow is the funeral. i hope the rain lets up and i hope i make it through my song with the kids at the graveside service. we're singing "Jesus loves the little children."
keep praying for the reinhards.

Our Beach Vacation

here's some pictures from our trip- we went with my parents, amy and jared and their kids, and barb (jared's mom).

we had a great time- and none of us were ready to come home.
(but i do have to say that being back in my own bed is awfully nice.)













shaeya loved catching the little "twizzler crabs"







gotta love these legs......



and the rolls.....







ty was pretty proud of this catch.....and he actually drew a crowd reeling this in by himself :)





let me introduce you to tekoa's new friend......she was crawling around in the water and put her hand right on this guy-



she let out a blood curdling scream and said it bit her- i don't think they bite, and i know she didn't get pinched or she probably wouldn't still have all her fingers- but she held her hand all day and said it hurt cause the crab bit her.

and then the next day at the zoo she was feeding these 2.......



and once again got a good chomp on the finger.

after the 2 hilarious (and okay, slightly dangerous) run-ins with the crab and the goose,
koa cried out "EVERYTHING is BITE me!!!!"
it still makes me laugh.




for some reason wren sticks in the chair now when i try to lift her out- we gotta slow this girl down!!

















it was so fun to have some care free time with the kids.
they were really good and really excited about everything we did.
they already want to know when we can go back. :)


we were just really saddend and our hearts are so heavy from the news we received on our way home.
after a tragic accident one of my little cousins (he was shaeya's age) went home to be with Jesus.
please pray for my family- especially his parents and sisters- as we try to to make sense of it and that we can continue to praise God for His goodness.

"O God, who is like You?
You, who have shown me great and severe troubles,
shall revive me again, and bring me up again from the depths of the earth.
You shall increase my greatness
and comfort me on every side."
Psalm 71:20

Here We Go

it's 10:30 pm and i just got back from my 10 yr. high school reunion.
so fun to see everyone- even though i see about half of all who showed up pretty regularly.

about 4 hours from now dave and i are getting up and loading all the kids in the van to start our 14 hour drive to gulf shores.
the kids have been sooooo excited and driving us crazy- should be a fun drive.
don't know if i'll be able to post pictures while we're there, but i will for sure when we get back next sunday.

alabama or bust :)

Riding Bikes

amazing, isn't she?? (especially on those legs that are so tired all the time.)

now- let me explain the outfit- the jacket is her "hunting jacket" she found at a kid's consignment sale this past weekend. she HAD to have it. 5 sizes too big and all.
we got her to take it off for church on sunday but that's it.
she eats, sleeps, and rides her bike in it.

and i let her wear it to school......i'm pretty sure she doesn't take it off at all at school.
(okay i was there today for music, so now i know she doesn't).

the pants- one of her first attempts at making it around the whole circle drive by herself ended right here-



in the puddle. so grandma found the striped pants for her in the house and that also explains the lack of shoes.
because i would never normally let my kids ride bikes without shoes.......i mean i never did that.

actually, shoelaces can even get caught in the chain and wrap around it as you pedal and end up twisting your foot and bringing your bike to a very abrupt halt. it happens.

but it has been years since i've ridden a bike- with the exception of taking tyden's for a spin every now and then just for the entertainment value for the children.
which may have happened last night.
for some reason they think it's hilarious to watch me wobble around peddling with my knees up by my chin.

but i do have to say that after a few races with shaeya i was really getting good...
in fact tyden may have had to pry his bike away from me.

and i'm feeling it today- i don't think they make bike seats like they used to.


and here's the fat one.....miss 90/4 :)





such kissable cheeks, aren't they?

She Got Shot

wow. i'm completely beat. tired, worn out, exhausted.
i really should be feeling pretty good cause i had an (almost) 4 hour stretch of sleep all last night. but it's been a rough couple of days.
actually yesterday started out great- i don't really know what happened.

well, i guess it started with music at the school.

it's so much fun. i absolutely love doing it.
the only problem is the 1/2 hour of not being able to watch tekoa. she has free reign at the school for that time.
how much trouble could she really cause in a half hour, you ask?

well, yesterday, for example.....
she tried to get herself a drink and completely soaked her clothes and left a huge puddle of water on the floor.
then i saw her climbing up some bookshelves- that one was worth stopping music class for.
and then she comes up to me and yells out that she "has to go poop!!!"
and i told her she just needed to wait.
i guess she couldn't.

after music i found her in the bathroom. on the toilet- with a poop covered wad of toilet paper in her hand and poop all over her hands, legs, and the toilet seat.
and the first thing she did when i got close to her was grab the back of my legs.

i almost just took my pants off for the ride home, but i had visions of trying to explain it to a police officer and decided to just scrub them a bit and call it good.

and the day just went on from there....ending with tekoa throwing one of her favorite musical toys in the bathtub while shaeya was in it.
it was almost bedtime and i had just had enough. seriously. she's 2 and a half. she really should be snapping out of some of this by now.

so then today. okay, i'm smiling now.....not in an evil way, but it is slightly humorous.

wren and tekoa both had dr. appointments.
i told tekoa we were going to the doctors and she threw a fit. she did NOT want to go.
i don't know what got into her (maybe watching wren get her 2 month vaccinations??)
but she was a wreck.
shaeya asked if tekoa had to have shots today, but i said no, only wren.
and we repeated that to tekoa all morning.

despite our reassurances, she was still terrified to go. and she let everyone there know it.
she refused to cooperate. the nurse had to put her on the scale kicking and screaming, and she wouldn't let them measure her or look in her mouth. i was pretty frustrated. and embarrased.

and THEN to top it all off the nurse informs me that she was behind on 2 vaccines that had been on back order when she was supposed to have gotten them.

i said, "we cannot give her shots today. we just can't."
and she asked if i really wanted to come back again.

so we went ahead and did it.
and her whole world fell apart. it was not pretty.

as i was walking out of the exam room carrying 2 screaming girls, i said to the nurse,
'hey, i'm really sorry about all the drama."
and she said, "actually i wanted to compliment you on the way you handled it all.
i saw you addressing and correcting the entire time and you'd be suprised at how many moms come in here and don't do either."

i think she understood when my eyes welled up with tears, and i thanked her for the encouragement.

after that we headed to the kids' school for our thursday lunch/recess help day.
koa (who had never stopped crying) walked into the school sobbing and told all the kids' that she had "got shot."

i put in my time at the school (as best i could- actually they sent me home early....??)
and then we headed home.

and that brings us to now. the tired/worn out part. besides all the koa drama i feel like i have a constant list of things to do and remember running through my head at all times.
i'm just trying to keep it all together and not be stressed out and still be a fun person for my husband and kids to be around.

and i've decided that a few things on that list (like deep cleaning and working on the 20 lbs of baby weight that's still hanging around) can just wait for a better time.

like when tekoa is out of the terrible two's and when i can get a full night of sleep.












*oh yea, i thought i'd mention baby wren's update.....
at almost 16 pounds and 24 inches long,
she is 90% for weight and 4% for height.....hmmm.