Session #2

okay today's session was much harder for me.
i want so bad to form relationships with these kids, and it is SO HARD.
the relationship part is easy, it's the letting go a bit with my own kids that is hard.
i can't watch tekoa every second, and she wanders. she ate a lot of food off the ground today and it is SO GROSS!!!

i saw a group of girl's today just watching from the street, so i walked over to talk to them- leaving tekoa on the playground and the baby on a blanket.
i talked them into joining us, and then tried to spend time with them. we sat and talked and they wanted to hear me play guitar, so we sang a bit and they took turns holding the baby.
SO HARD to let her be passed around (not super gently) knowing how not clean the girl's hands and clothes were. SO HARD knowing i wasn't watching tekoa as closely as i wanted to.

but seeing these girl's eyes light up at my attention tells me that i'm where i'm supposed to be on tuesday afternoons. and i know that living out my faith is not supposed to be clean and easy and safe all the time. and if God can use this to make a difference for just one it is worth it.
and i know that my children really will be fine. they don't REALLY need as much as i give them, and it's okay to let go a bit.

the girl's kept asking when we'd be coming back which is exciting to me.
so all in all it was a good day. in spite of tekoa peeing her pants at the playground- which to me was way better than using someone's bathroom or potty chair. it was the very first time that i was actually just glad she did it.